News

The latest news from Christine Roberts Counselling along with curated articles from external sites that I think you might find interesting.

Navigating Relationships in 2025 Through Knapp’s Relational Development Model

In today’s fast-paced and often digitally driven world, relationships—whether romantic, platonic, or somewhere in between—continue to be central to our wellbeing. While the ways we connect may evolve, the emotional journeys we experience often follow familiar patterns. One useful tool for understanding these patterns is Knapp’s Relational Development Model, which outlines ten stages of a relationship, grouped into two phases: Coming Together and Coming Apart.

This model can help us reflect on where we are in any type of relationship, whether it’s a new online connection, a deepening friendship, or a long-term bond that’s shifting.

The Beginning Stages - Coming Together:

The first contact—whether a smile in person, a quick hello in a group chat, or a match on a dating app. You’re making an impression and assessing if you want to engage further.

Initiating

Light conversation and surface-level sharing. You discover shared interests, humour, or values.

Experimenting

Conversations deepen. Personal stories are exchanged, and trust begins to build.

Intensifying

Your lives start to intertwine—you make plans, share experiences, and begin to see yourselves as a pair or close unit.

Integrating

Commitment is clear. This might mean a formal partnership, a best-friend status, or a significant shared milestone.

Bonding

The Shifting Stages - Coming Apart:

The Relationship ends

Terminating

Distance grows- emotionally or physically.

Avoiding

Recognising differences more than similarities.

Differentiating

Conversations become limited and less meaningful.

Circumscribing

The connection feels stuck.

Stagnating

These stages are not failures—they are part of the natural lifecycle of relationships.

Applying Knapp’s Model to Friendships and Romance

Some relationships remain in early stages—light and situational—while others deepen over time. Friendships can be as rich and committed as romantic partnerships, and both can pass through any stage of Knapp’s model. A friendship might stay in the experimenting stage for years and still bring joy, while a romantic connection may quickly intensify and integrate.

Understanding where you are in a relationship can help you set boundaries, manage expectations, and appreciate the unique role each connection plays in your life.

Closing Thoughts

Relationships in 2025 are diverse and dynamic, shaped by both traditional human needs and modern ways of connecting. Knapp’s Relational Development Model provides a gentle guide—reminding us that all stages have value and that endings can carry as much growth as beginnings.

You deserve relationships that nurture, inspire, and respect you—whether they last a moment or a lifetime.

Meet
Teddy

In December 2024, I adopted Teddy, a four-year-old Cavachon.

Cavachons are a cross between a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and a Bichon Frise. They are known for being hypoallergenic and non shedding but also for their gentle and affectionate personalities. They are used as therapy dogs by the NHS due to their inherently calm demeanour, and intuitive qualities as this can help to bring warmth to environments where emotional connection is needed.

Recently, when his usual dog sitter was on holiday, Teddy spent time quietly padding around the therapy room, occasionally curling up in a sunny corner or offering a gentle nuzzle or cuddle to those needing one. He made a lot of friends and since then, some clients have requested more cuddles from Teddy in their sessions.

Although Teddy doesn't come to the therapy room every week, please let me know if you feel uncomfortable or scared of dogs, so I can make sure he is not present on your visit.

How to
Survive Winter

A way of creating a cozy and inviting atmosphere during the winter has caught on worldwide as the trend of “hygge” living. This article includes tips on bathing in natural light and adding soft textiles to your home to create a tactile comforting environment.

Why It's OK to Like Yourself a Little More

Is there someone in your life who frequently critiques you and often points out what you’re doing or have done wrong, and how you should improve? Is there someone close to you who gives you the feeling that maybe they don’t quite like you as you are?...

Insta
Inspiration

@artofbreathing_

Why the Pursuit of Happiness can Make us Sad

It’s not uncommon for a client, when initially asked what their goal for therapy is, for them to say ‘I just want to be happy’. Or for some to say they believe they ‘should’ be happy, and yet they are not, so they are somehow failing at life. For practitioners of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), these misconceptions are to be questioned, challenged and replaced with a more rational and helpful view of happiness....

How to Find Healing From Trauma

Gabor Maté, M.D. talks about his book, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture.

Discussion points include:

Defining the myths of normal
How the increasing anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues are a result of toxic culture
Stress and trauma can begin for a child in utero, at childbirth, and throughout childhood
The modern stresses of our world contributes to a toxic culture